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Off the Market

15 Mar - I'm going to do everything in my power to make your bachelorette party all about me.
I’m back! Did y’all miss me? Well, the reason I’ve been off the grid and took down all my blogs is because it finally happened. I met the man of my dreams, and I’m madly in love. So much so in fact that we are now engaged and looking forward to starting our lives together. My single life seems like forever ago, and I can’t even imagine my life without Matt in it. I’m so glad that I finally met someone who truly appreciates me and loves me unconditionally and treats me like the princess I am.

So what’s an engaged girl to do? Have a girls’ weekend to go dress shopping of course! The saddest part of my life since we left off is that Harper has moved away, and I hadn’t seen her in 8 months. We kept in touch through SnapChat, texts, Facebook and Skype, so at least I haven’t felt completely abandoned. And I do fill the void by having my other best friend and future husband around. Amber, Jane and I flew up to see Harper to start my bachelorette weekend. I was slightly worried because I know that Amber and Jane aren’t exactly the best of friends. Amber can get a little out of control sometimes when she’s drinking, and I was concerned that she and Jane were going to get into an argument or something. But the whole first evening went off without a hitch.

Harper had surprised me by decorating the hotel room with streamers and everything. She had booze waiting, complete with, hmm, not sure how to put this, but the kind of straws you might expect to see girls at a bachelorette party drinking from. We pre-partied a little in the room and then went out on the town. A guy at the first bar bought us all a round of drinks, and we went with him to the next bar. Turns out, he had a fake ID. So we checked him at the door and went inside, never to see him again. That was the biggest drama of the night. We danced and drank and had fun with no issues at all, except maybe that my feet were on fire from wearing high heels all night. I was so relieved that nothing major happened, and I hoped that the whole weekend would turn out like that.

The next day was time for dress shopping. I may have been a little hungover and a little upset that my mom bailed on me at the last minute, so I felt overwhelmed the entire time and didn’t really enjoy the experience like I should have. It was the first time I had ever tried on wedding dresses. In fact, it was the first time I did anything real regarding my wedding. Looking at all the other girls and their mothers, I was near tears the entire time. I did not say “yes” to any of the dresses I tried on. But at least it was a starting point.

After dress shopping, I was mentally exhausted and really would have much rather stayed in the hotel room and had girl time. But the girls insisted that I was on vacation and needed to go out. Amber said she had some coworkers that had offered to meet us somewhere and buy a few drinks. I saw she was texting someone named Roxanne, so I figured her coworkers were women. Turns out, these “coworkers” were not plural and not women. In fact, it was just one very attractive young man. Apparently, Roxanne is the name in her phone for Rodney so that her boyfriend doesn’t realize she’s texting a guy. And Rodney happened to live in the city we were in. Now it’s all making sense why Amber was pushing so hard for a girls’ weekend and why she insisted on this particular city. I was up for whatever, so my fiancĂ© went snow boarding with his friends while I went dress shopping with mine.

Amber’s boyfriend is very sweet and treats her very well but can get a bit jealous. That’s really the only beef I’ve ever had with him (though nothing had ever been voiced). After this weekend, I don’t blame him for being jealous. Actually, I didn’t blame him before. She’s always flirty with guys. I would be uncomfortable having her for a girlfriend if I were in his shoes too.

I noticed that Amber didn’t once mention her boyfriend the entire night. She kept saying she was “going to the bathroom,” and she and Rod seemed to have very active bladders that were urgent at the same time. I suppose it’s plausible. But at one point, when Rod was asking me about my fiancĂ© and how I felt about him, I started gushing about how wonderful he is and how lucky I feel to have him in my life and I’m so in love and he’s definitely the one. That’s when Amber said, “Yeah, I’m not in love.” I gave her a look of shock. After all, she’s been with her boyfriend longer than a year.

At the end of the night, we needed to get a cab back to the hotel, and Amber apparently invited Rod to come back to the hotel and stay the night with us. She didn’t ever consult me about it. Nor did she ever consult either of the other girls. It was just assumed that he would be sleeping in our room, and nobody really spoke up about it. I think Harper, Jane and I were just all in too much shock to say anything.

We couldn’t find a cab that would take all five of us, so I told Harper to take a cab with Rod and meet us back at the hotel. But Amber all but pushed Harper into the cab that Jane and I were already in, and she insisted that she go in the cab alone with Rod. According to what Rod later told Jane, Amber attacked him in the cab and forced him to make out with her. Granted, I also learned that he later tried to kiss Jane and Harper on two other separate occasions in the night. So it doesn’t exactly sound like Rod is the beacon of righteousness. He also told Jane, Harper AND me that he thinks Amber is crazy and that he has zero interest in her whatsoever.

When we got back to the room, Harper realized that she left her phone at the bar, so Rod offered to go back with her. Jane and I took this opportunity to let Amber know all the ways cheating on her boyfriend would be wrong. Amber called her boyfriend, telling Jane and me to be quiet. She whispered to him and told him that we were all asleep and that she missed him so much. I felt so bad for her boyfriend. He had no idea that we were all, in fact, wide awake and listening to the whole thing. After getting off the phone with her boyfriend, Amber called for some food delivery. She ordered two orders each of chicken tenders, sweet potato fries and onion rings. Plus some matzoh ball soup for good measure. She then proceeded to pass out. When the food got there and I paid for it, she woke up enough to eat a good portion of it. Not going to lie, I ate some of it too and completely ruined my bridal diet. But that greasy food tasted so good after all the drinking. I needed something to soak it up.

Apparently on the way back from getting her phone is when Rod tried to kiss Harper, but she laid down the law and let him know in no uncertain terms that she has a boyfriend and did not want to cheat on him. Rod seems like the kind of guy who is used to getting a lot of female attention. Too bad for him that all of us (including Amber) are very much taken. He tried to sleep in Harper and Jane’s bed, but they kicked him out, and he slept in his underwear on the floor. The whole situation was very uncomfortable for me.

The next morning, Amber discovered that the promise ring her boyfriend had given her was broken. Someone had stepped on it in the night. “Oh well, I guess it’s a sign,” she said, with no emotion for her poor boyfriend at all. Rod quickly left after finding his clothes in the morning, and I think we were all glad to see him go. We had brunch, but we were all exhausted and just done with the whole weekend. Jane had a later flight, so she and Harper stayed in town a little longer while Amber and I caught a cab back to the airport. We didn’t speak the entire way back, unless you count my moaning about how sick I felt. And yes, I did get sick when we got to the airport. I tried to sleep the whole flight home.

Amber’s boyfriend was the one who picked us up from the airport, and I just felt terrible when I saw him with a big smile on his face, looking so happy to have her home. She ran up to him and threw her arms around him and kissed him passionately. She claimed to have missed him like crazy. She said that she truly loved him and that she didn’t realize that until this trip. “Really?” he said with a funny look. “Just now? Why?” There was a slight awkward pause, so I jumped in and said maybe it was because she wants to try on dresses too. He got this sly smile and winked and said, “Someday.” Oh, you poor, poor man. But I guess it isn’t my place to say or do anything. I can only hope that she learned her lesson and will be faithful to him from this point forward.